Be a Baby, the 4 P's of an Entrepreneur

Almost a year ago, I took on a new role as an Uncle and have been fortunate enough to spend a lot of time with my niece since I have been back here in the states. As I write this, she will be turning 11-months, boy times fly!

Being the (favorite) uncle, I have taken the night shift, fed her, and even changed a couple of dirty diapers. The best parts have been just spending time with her and watching her grow, laugh, and develop. In pure curiosity, I have been analyzing her behaviors and reactions and I realized that being an entrepreneur is not so different from being a baby.

If you have read my past post “4 P’s of a Professional,” the 4 P’s here are the same but it has a different interpretation as an entrepreneur.  When you were born, you were born with the entrepreneurial spirit but it has been long forgotten… until now.

Passion. What drives you to do what you do? If you said success, wealth, or fame, you are in the wrong business. These items are just the side effects of what you want to do. Think about it, what keeps you moving forward this path, a path that is filled with stress, not knowing what tomorrow is going to be like, and meeting people who, quite frankly, will disappoint you. It is a steep hill that requires sacrifices and risks as stepping stones to move up. It is not an easy road, so what gets you up from a restless night to continue on this path every day? For me, it is doing something with my life that impacts others. From creating a family business to employing people, in general, I am motivated to empower others to push their limits, to grow, and to be their own success story. My passion is to create a better life for those that have supported my dream. Find out what matters to you, use it to lead you as everything else like success, wealth, and fame will follow.

Like a Baby: A baby will do what they want and follow no one’s schedule but their own. If they want to play, then they will laugh. If they are hungry, they will cry. If they want to use the bathroom, they will right then and there. Their passion is simply to live, on their own terms.

Pain. Do you embrace failures? The biggest thing that entrepreneurs need to do, is to embrace failure, change, and learn to let things go. When we hear the word “failure,” there is a negative connotation to it. If you treat it right, it is actually a positive thing. Entrepreneurs should treat failures as lessons learned and move forward with it. When I decided to close down my first office and product, after putting nearly $50,000 and a years’ worth of time, it was devastating emotionally and mentally. Yes, I failed my first product and my team but that’s ok. The lessons, decision making skills, and management tools that were forged from that, allowed me to move forward on to my next idea. The great thing about failure is that it’s in the past, so make the necessary changes now so that you can continue forward tomorrow. You have to learn to let things, people, and ideas go. Why hold onto dead weight that will slow down your progress?

Like a Baby: From learning to hold a bottle to falling down while trying to sit for the first time, a baby will continue to test their motor skills, learning and adapting to the current situation. Do you ever see a baby just give up? They will continue to try to do new things until they learn and move to the next thing, no matter how many times they bump their head or fall down.

Persistent. Do you keep going despite everything else? If you can endure the pain and lead with your passion, you will continue to progress. Some days, I wonder to myself why do I keep on doing what I am doing. Despite not having a paycheck for almost 2 years, constant stress of company operations and finances, and the deliberating if my next idea will go anywhere, I am ok with it. I can tell you that real entrepreneurs are survivors. They will take the risks, make the sacrifices, and fight until they cannot fight any more. Recently, I took a part-time job going door-to-door (yes, people still do that) to help ends meet, financially. Since it was consuming more time than expected, I left it but hey, I was able to pay my bills for that month. I am not ready to quit with my app looking to launch in a couple of weeks and I am willing to do anything to see this through. As an entrepreneur, do not let excuses or reasons why not to be used as crutches, instead put everything into what you believe in and do what is necessary. To give a start-up the chance to succeed, you have to throw all your time and energy into it, otherwise, it is just a hobby.

Like a Baby: When a baby wants something, they will release all of their emotions/cry until they get it. They could be hungry, not feeling well, or even dirtied their diaper. Regardless, they have a relentless amount of energy to fight for what they want until they are satisfied. If you have ever held a crying baby or been there when they are teething for the first time, you know what I am talking about.

Progress. Are you listening to your gut? In whatever industry your start-up is in, it is continuously changing. You can either stay where you are at or continue to innovate. There will always be some sort of competitor that will have a better product/service so keep that fear inside of you. Sometimes it requires you to let your idea go or even make the changes to something you thought you perfected, either way your gut will let you know. When I created my first website product, I knew there were similar competitors out there but I wanted to keep going until my original idea came into fruition. Instead of shutting it down early and move to an app version of it, I kept putting more time and money into it even when I had people tell me they will wait for the app to come out instead. My gut even told me that it was time to make that change and yet, I did not listen and that lesson became a pricey one. Progress requires you to continue to grow yourself, through chatting with your mentor, reading about industry trends, and collaborating with your target audience about ways to better their experience. Through that data and understanding, it transforms into information and knowledge to be used, a built-in adviser I call your gut.

Like a Baby: Watch a baby play with their toys. Noticed how easily they move on from one toy to another because they got bored of it or something else sparked their interest? They are always curious, wanting to learn about the environment they are in and to better understand it.

Letting your Passion lead you, enduring the Pain from getting kicked down over and over again, being tirelessly Persistent, and adapting to your environment to Progress forward makes an Entrepreneur a survivor, a warrior, and a baby. These 4 P’s cannot stand alone, they rely on each other and blend together to make what an Entrepreneur is today. Igniting that fire in you is just a start. It’s the what, when, why, who, and how to keep the fire going is the most important quality you need to have as an Entrepreneur.

Would love to hear your feedback and your story!

2014 was Hell, but a Blessing

To those that have been following my blog or social media posts, you have seen that my 2014 was a living nightmare both on a personal and professional level. It was a year I lost my little brother, closed down an office I built, and shut down my first product. It was a hellish storm that I had to choose to navigate through or drown in.

As I look back on 2014 and wonder why things happen like it did, I learned that this year has been a blessing and here are the lessons I wanted to share with you:

1. Personally, I found family again.

Being away from home for the past 7+ years, I was focused on work, all I did was work so that I can move up fast. Visiting family occurred once a year (for a max of 1 week) and doing nothing but taking advantage of the fact that my family will “always” be there, it was a cycle on autopilot.

To those that are in the same work mindset as me, I have one thing to say: “Work will always be there, family time is a fading asset.” I can promise that through the worst parts of your life, your family and their support will rejuvenate and heal your soul better than anything you can buy. Take the time to hang out with your family and friends and don't let holidays be the excuse to do it.

2. Professionally, I moved forward.

When you have an idea, it’s your baby and you do not want to give it up. You want to keep going, hoping something big would happen. Sadly, it happens 50% of the time. When I created MeSocial, my gut told me at the beginning of this year to give up on the website product and to move on with a mobile app idea. 6-months and tens of thousands dollars later, I have learned this lesson. To my fellow entrepreneurs, listen to your gut, follow the market trends, and most importantly, learn to let go. It will save you the time and money. And this app? Well, stay tuned for our New Year announcement!

3. Overall, I removed negative, stressful people.

If you have never experienced a loss of a loved one, it is hard to process when others around you go through it. When I told someone that my best friend passed away, he gave me a blank stare and did not say one word. “I’m sorry,” “Keeping you and your family in my prayers,” and “I’m hurting with you” are simple words that have a meaningful impact to those who are grieving. I now have been on both sides and all I can tell you is do not sit in silence. Your real friends (the expected and even the unexpected) will be there for you, keep them and forget the others. At the end of the day, you need people that can stand by you.

In my entire career, I have only fired 3 individuals and they all share 3 common traits: constantly making excuses, ability to not progress, and behaved selfishly. To those that manage a team and to my fellow entrepreneurs, always listen to your gut about people and remove those individuals sooner rather than later. The amount of stress that is removed, surpasses any guilt for letting a “nice” person go. It is your team/company, protect it and drop the dead weight so that you can move forward.


As I look forward to 2015, I am better equipped to take on the next challenges and I have to thank 2014 for it. It was never ideal but what situation ever is? I can never wish for 2014 not to happen, how else would I ever learn about these perspectives? Yes, it sucked. Yes, I grew from it.

I hope my lessons learned help you navigate your storm. Here is to a better New Year!

Thank You Letter to the 1ME India Team

I wanted to share my email to the 1ME India team, truly grateful to work with these people!

To my first 1ME Team,

WOW. I cannot believe it has already been a year here in India and 2 years working together on this start-up. Originally, it was just for MeSocial but you have helped me build 1ME and develop MeToo Studios. I have been told that we moved at a fast pace and I can truly say, yes we did! You should be proud at the work you have accomplished in an environment that was quite hectic.

Long days, sleepless nights, and working non-stop every day for weeks at a time, I have pushed you guys to the limits. The best part is that these limits were pushed further and further and it shows me what you are capable of doing and then some. Was it worth it? You decide but I would definitely say yes! It has been great watching you all learn, grow, and develop as I have done the same. The team I knew years ago, just requested for requirements and then coded. The team I know now, questions, advises, and provides feedback on how to make the product better. You have gone from being a "developer" to an "engineer" where you now put thought and creativity into what you do. What an awesome thing to witness and I hope you see it as well.

Even though we are not able to continue together, I hope you remember the goals you have set for yourself on the back of the 1ME sign. I ask that you continue to meet with each other, share ideas, and develop together. We share this common bond which I will always cherish because it is a start to something great! Remember 2 things. First, success is not about being the best, it is about seeing what the person next to you is doing and doing it better. Second, there is always a solution to a problem.

On behalf of the 1ME team, directors, and investors, thank you for all you have done for my company. I am blessed to call you my colleague, friend, and family member. I look forward to the next steps and what the future holds for you all. Do not hesitate to contact me if you have questions or need someone to bounce ideas off from, I am here for you. It is not a goodbye but till we meet again. Many more successes awaits!

Sincerely,
Thomas

Saying Goodbye In More Ways Than One

Well this it, 1ME’s last day in India. This amazing learning experience and chapter comes to a closing as I start on a new path and say goodbye to the team. I have re-written this post many times because I am not quite sure how to express my more personal thoughts. So here it goes.

Looking back at my first (First Day of a New Chapter) and recent posts (A Year Later and I Failed, The Top 5 Reasons Why), I am displaced by the emotions, questions, and confusion, both professionally and personally. I hit a rough patch for 1ME but made the needed decisions to remove the unnecessary stress points. On the personal side, I have experienced many life changes this past year, such as selling my condo, moving to a different country, quitting a paying job, watching my mom get re-married, giving a eulogy for my best friend, Jonathan, of 15+ years, and recently becoming an Uncle. My professional and personal life has merged into one as much as I have tried not to let each aspect affect the other. As a result, I have been in state of blah (to simply put it) dealing with a tremendous amount of stress and dark emotions which have been soften by happy moments. Every day has been a challenge and every night has been another sleepless encounter.

As I wrap up my time and close the office here in India, I have been trying to face the reality that this is the first time I will be home since I left for Penn State. I am not ready to come home because I am not ready to face this reality. I head out with Christian today, stopping in Delhi to check out the Taj Mahal and other sites for a couple days. From there, we part ways as he heads home and I buy a one way ticket to somewhere. After working literally every day for the company since I decided to do it full-time, I’m mentally exhausted. After leaving home 13 years ago and have no choice but to return, I’m at a lost.

Those that know me, know that I rather work than play, giving up hanging out with friends and attending events. Even at social events, I am always talking about the next opportunity and sharing new ideas. Rarely, I share my personal life because there was nothing to share. It was one in same, my work life. This has changed recently as the two life aspects take on a life of its own with its complications and then merging together and creating a chaotic mess in my head.

First, I need to find a better direction with my company. I need to stop the financial bleeding or go back to the corporate world, which means all the risks I have taken would be for nothing. I need to find that answer.

In parallel, I need to find peace with myself that Jonathan will not be there when I come home. We have spent almost every day together for 2 years leading to my departure to Penn State and almost every day together when I would come home to visit. He was the one person that I saw first when I got home. He was the one person that allowed me to forget about the stress that was life. He was the one person that made home a place for me to exist in. Now that is gone. His birthday is around the corner and it would be the first time in 13 years that I would be home for it. I honestly cannot remember the last time I even celebrated it, how is sad is that? So why start now? I have lost that chance forever.

Grief is a multifaceted response to loss and the goal is to reorganize one’s life, so the loss is an important part of life rather than its center. I need to take some time to grieve and find peace in my heart (personally) and in my mind (professionally). I can best describe it in words from one my favorite songs, "I wanna feel the car crash, 'Cause I'm dyin' on the inside, I wanna let go and know that I'll be alright." There is an answer out there, I just need to find it. I want to smile again, where a smile is not hiding grief, disappointment, and stress.

Thank you for your support this past year, I will never forget those that stood by me, supported me, and have turned their backs to me. We will talk soon when I start the next chapter of this startup venture, but for now, I'm saying goodbye.

A Year Later and I Failed, The Top 5 Reasons Why

May, 2013: Quit my job.

June: Sold my place, moved from NYC to India, and opened our first office.

July: Hired several more developers.

August: Moved into a townhouse, converted the downstairs into an office for 10 people.

October: Launched MeTooStudios, a web design and service division.

November: Co-founded 1More, a non-profit corporation.


Skip forward to March: I’ve told my team here in India that I will not be renewing their contracts. I’ve reduced our U.S. team by half. I sold MeToo Studios, and stepped down from the board of 1More. I am closing the 1ME office in India and returning back home at the end of this month.

That was my first year, in a nutshell. I have taken my company in full circle, starting out with one core product, MeSocial, and ending the year with our focus back on it. Failure was always inevitable, but learning from my mistakes and adapting is the difference between quitting and succeeding. As the company founder, I am driven by the huge risk/reward factor of my business, and I expected that others, who had risked little or less, to hold the same mindset. That is the basis of my overall failure. As I look back on this past year, I failed to achieve what I envisioned, and here are the top 5 reasons why:

1. I believed in good intentions. Good intentions are great, but when the thoughts do not align with actions and dedication, then those intentions become false hopes. I failed because I hid the fact that some team members lacked the level of experience needed, as well as the motivation to progress, learn and adapt in a startup environment. Yes, the expectation level was high, but the willingness to adapt (or not), makes or break the individual in a startup atmosphere. Individuals, by nature, do mean well, but that has little value in a startup if they lack the motivation (risk factor) to pursue changing circumstances and demands.

2. I was too nice. “Nice guys finish last” is a phrase that indicates that you cannot get what you want by being kind or considerate. Honestly, who wants to finish last anyway? There are many levels of nice, but being too nice can lead to being a push over. From my ignorance of India's culture, to avoiding confrontation, being too flexible caused me to lose respect and slowed down my overall progress. I failed to put the company first and I lost time and money because I did not make the needed changes sooner.

3. I fed on hype. A startup is a hot word and in today’s world, we see more of them and more people leaving their jobs to start one. This trend leads to hype for those individuals who are given an opportunity to be a part of one. From my perspective, the hype lasted only for a short period of time because the focus was building a future that I risked everything for. I brought on people who loved the idea, but who did not understand the risk and time that was necessary. I failed because I too got caught up in the hype, the new ideas I encountered, and new team members joining my effort. I lost sight of the future and our core mission, instead focusing on the day-to-day.

4. I was afraid to cut my losses. The first three reasons resulted in my getting to this point. Sometimes ideas and people do not just work out. My goal of wanting to teach and develop people, and to watch them become successful, hindered my resolve to take the necessary actions. I needed to let some people go and make changes on how the company operated. I failed because I was hesitant to confront those issues head-on and start over.

5. I didn’t look for a mentor. With a “do it myself” attitude, I launched into this venture with no guidance. My knowledge of the startup world was largely limited to what I saw in the news or read online. Combining my research with my professional experience, I was confident I would be able to do this on my own, and refused to actively seek mentorship or more formal startup incubators or VCs. It took me longer to realize that I was stretching myself thin, holding onto dead weight, and not aligning with the company’s original focus. Even though I had a team, most of them were younger professionally, which made it hard to bounce strategic ideas off from. I became a mentor and spent more time training then moving forward. I failed to become a mentee, but fortunately that is no longer the case now.

This past year, I have learned a lot and pushed the boundaries that I thought was impossible, further and further. I have been very patient, I have wasted time and resources, and I have negotiated with my level of expectation. I have been in a cloudy dream of having a company which did not match the reality.

I often questioned why I am even doing this at all. How much more can I bleed financially before it becomes an impossible hole to climb out from? When does ambition become a burden? Do I go back to the corporate world when I gave up everything to get out of it? Truthfully, I do not know. This venture has been a struggling blessing for me.

So what now? The company is slimmer and the focus is honed, now is the time to charge forward. Honestly, I failed and I'm glad that I did. Let yesterday's limits become today's starting point, right?

First Day of a New Chapter

Today is the first time in 14 years that I do not have some sort of paying job to go to. And this is the first time in 14 years, I feel content and I'm actually ok with that. Running my own company, creating something, and being somebody is my endless quest to be successful, to feel successful. Hopefully, I can find that one day. And to find it, I need to do this on my own.

I gave up a 6-digit salary, a great job in a high profile role, and my own condo in New York City. Would I do it again? Yes, in a heartbeat. This is not my definition of success, just steps to get to the next step.... Today.

This is my first blog post as I document my start as an entrepreneur but most importantly, the Founder of 1ME, LLC. I promise to keep these posts short and will end it with a lesson learn, tip, advice, or quote. Thank you for your on-going support, nothing can be built without it!

TT Quote Pick: "For one minute, walk outside, stand there in silence, look up at the sky, and contemplate how amazing life is."  -Unknown